Questions I Cannot Seem To Answer

Why do I have sudden aversions to that which I know will make me feel centered and healthy?
Why do I spend my summer worrying about how fast it is flying by?
Why do I isolate myself when feeling connected makes me happy? 
Why do I think I like being alone?
Why do I eat things I know will make my stomach hurt?
Why do I always think I can do it by myself?
Why do marriages fail? Why so many right now?
Why do I not count gardening as being productive?
Why am I completely obsessed with with accomplishing things?
Why can I not disassociate the words waste and time?
Why do dying tomato plants and overcooked scallops have the power to make me depressed for a whole evening?
Why haven't I finished any of the decorating projects in this house?
Why is the wall behind my computer monitor empty and white?

I am trying to spend time this summer reflecting on questions like these, but I have no real answers. I think that with little changes in the right direction, to remind myself of the things I know to be true, maybe I can get somewhere.

Why must I always be trying to get somewhere?

Hmmm. Good question.

This helped me get a little perspective (again).  Breathing and thinking of good things...

I got myself out of bed this morning and to yoga at 9am. It was great. I love my yoga!
I picked 15 pounds of blueberries today.
My dogs got the muddiest I've ever seen them this morning and then I had to hose them down. 
I am leading a 1-night backpacking trip starting tomorrow. Usually fun but I am nervous as always.
Ben is heating up blueberry cobbler right now. I think I will go get some! Then I must go pack (and ignore the aversion to it).
93 is the least amount of pictures I could select of Canada to show you when I get back! Lucky you!  

 

Up, up and AWAY! Up, up and AWAY!